Co-Parenting

3 Professional Co-Parenting Stategies

Become the Professional Co-parent Your Children Deserve!

You know that relationship you envision having with your ex…someday?  Well, it’s time to start building that relationship today.  Don’t wait until things start to turn sour in your relationship or the first time you have to have a serious conversation about your children with your ex to embody your role in this powerful co-parenting relationship.

If you start now, you will appear respectful, reasonable and empowered when you need to have that conversation about your children.  Think about your relationship, conversations and behavior as they are right now.  Do these things represent the relationship that you want to have with your ex?  If not, it’s time to begin transforming your conversations and behaviors.

Demonstrate the behaviors you envision and that embody the relationship you want

  • Avoid scheduling activities for the children during the other parents time.  If the child wants to participate in an activity during the other parents time, you should contact your former spouse (preferably in writing) and give them a list of the dates, times and transportation needs that will impact their time.  Make sure to give them as much time as possible to make a decision about whether or not to allow the child to participate.  This shouldn’t happen in front of the child and care should be taken to ensure that the child isn’t responsible for relaying this type of information.
  • Respect your children’s time with their other parent.  This means no excessive phone calls or texting that interrupts the continuity of their time with that parent.  Unless otherwise specified in your Parenting Plan, you should allow your child to initiate contact if/when they have something that they would like to share with you.  However, if your child is initiating contact with you to complain about or to avoid communication with their other parent, lovingly tell them, “While I love hearing from you, I think you should discuss these concerns with mom/dad.”
  • Leaving the other parents house in the middle of a scheduled visitation to come “home” to you shouldn’t be an option.  This is a hard one!  Children need to spend time with both parents and they should be encouraged to finish scheduled visitations as planned.  Decisions about ending visitations should be made between you and your co-parenting partner.  The children never feel as though they have to “pick” being with one parent over the other.  While staying in a new home can be a difficult transition, your child needs to adjust to the change and to know that they are safe with both of their parents.  That won’t happen if they are constantly “rescued.” 

Embody the Co-Parenting relationship you envision in all your interactions. 

Unfortunately, your ex may not follow your lead at first, or ever.  It’s important to remember that you are making these changes to help your children and to create more peace in your life.  You can’t force your ex to change but you can change the way that you interact with them.


 

Do you want help with the transitioning from marriage to divorce with integrity?  Contact me today to schedule your complimentary 30 minute Chaos to Calm Power Session.

 


 

If there is a history or suspicion of current abuse happening to your children you should contact the authorities as well as your attorney and follow all recommendations for how to protect your children.

 


This or any advice that has been given by Heather Debreceni is not meant to replace or superseded the advice of your attorney or the acting family therapist involved in your case and does not constitute legal or psychological counseling.
About The Author

Heather Debreceni

In 2004, after getting a job in Law Enforcement, Heather left her husband and started the divorce process. Like many mothers in her situation, she naively thought that getting divorced would be the end of the chaos that her failing marriage had created in her and her children’s lives. She now uses her divorce experience to create strategic divorce coaching programs which help mothers turn the chaos of divorce into confident, calm and respect filled lives. Heather is the Founder and Host of the Empowered Divorce Summit which empowers individuals as they navigate through the divorce process. Now a podcast, it provides listeners with access to insightful interviews with experts on divorce, relationships and parenting. She is also an Ordained Non-Denomination Christian Reverend as well as a student of the Buddhist & First Nationals faith and spirituality. Heather supports her clients as they walk through the spiritual rebirth that occurs for many women after divorce. Heather also tours around the country with her family giving talks about Divorce, Ethics, Parenting, Personal Responsibility, Spirituality and Women's Empowerment as well as teaching about Leadership, Business and Entrepreneurship.

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