So you want to create a fantastic post divorce life!

But, you just can’t seem to get past the post divorce life blahs! Well, I can help. Take a deep breath and read on. First, let’s get a clear picture of what this new life looks like, ask yourself the following questions.

Wait… not so fast, take a bit of time with these, grab a pen and paper and allow yourself to truly go there!

• What do you really desire in your life?
• When do you most feel like your true self?
• What goals do you want to reach in your life? Both immediate and long-term.
• How does this new ideal life look? Take a minute and picture it like a movie.
• What impact does your individual happiness have in your children’s lives?

If you are waiting for your life to miraculously become everything you thought it would be after your divorce, you are missing the opportunity to take control of your future!You have the ability to start creating the life you want in your future, today.  Think about what your post-divorce looks like now, your relationship with yourself and the way that it makes you feel.

Do these things describe how you want your life to look or how you want to feel about yourself?

If not, it’s time to begin envisioning that post-divorce life you crave and deserve

Begin envisioning what you want your post-divorce life to embody and start taking steps today to ensure that every day you get closer to having this life that you crave. Your life won’t suddenly become perfect tomorrow! I am not talking about waking up tomorrow and radically changing everything. I am talking about using these strategies to lay the foundation for that life you want in the future. What I recommend is that you start with one small change today. Master this one present change in your life before moving on to the next change.

3 strategies to help you start to move towards that post-divorce life you crave

• Home is where the heart is! Build a new home for yourself that limits the emotional triggers about your marriage/divorce and that reflects your individual style. Here’s a great example; If you “got” your “marital California King bed” in the divorce, but you spend your nights sleeping on your lonely side of the bed, stop. Get a new bed that reflects you and does not remind you of your ex every time you see it!
• Make your outside reflect your inside! Find ways to break the isolation that comes with divorce. Engage in positive activities that will not only occupy your mind, that will also reflect your individuality.  Volunteer, take a creative class, join a book club a or Meetup group. Nurture and explore those parts of yourself that you have neglected for far too long.
• A rocking TO DO list! Visualize your fantastic future life as you want it to be (all the bells and whistles… no limits). Make a list of the parts of your life that do not reflect that image. Then start working your way through this list, making positive changes as you go.

I encourage you to:

• Give yourself permission to pursue your future and let go of your past.  
• Forgive yourself for your past transgressions!
• Embrace a future that can be whatever you choose it to be.
• Accept and embrace that this change will take a little time.

Be kind to yourself by understanding that true change does not occur in a day, a week or a month. It took years for the life you have now to form. Be willing to give it the same amount of time to change directions. Stay the course, the change will come!

Do you want help creating the post divorce life that you crave?  Contact me today to schedule your complimentary 30 minute Chaos to Calm Power Session.

Note:  This or any advice given by Heather Debreceni is not meant to replace or superseded the advice of your attorney or the acting family therapist involved in your case and does not constitute legal or psychological counseling.