Chaos to Calm Moment – Daily Divorce Affirmation 19

Take Your Power Back

Hey everyone, today I am excited to be bringing you the first of hopefully many “Chaos to Calm Moments” with me where I discuss things that I’ve tweeted about and talk about them in a little more

detail in this Vlog format. 

Lets just go ahead and dive right in because I don’t want to take up too much of your time today. Today we are going to be talking about a Daily Divorce Affirmation.  These are something that I tweet often and I firmly believe that in repeating these positive statements to yourself that you can start to create change in your life.

“From this point on, my life and the experiences that I have are on me.”

What does that mean?  What that means that you are going to take personal responsibility and that you are going to take your power back. 

What that means is that when you make statements in your life like:

  • My life would be better and I would have more money if only my ex paid their support.


  • My relationship with my children would be better if only my ex let me have more time with the kids. 

Now while, both of those statements are probably true, in both of those statements you’re giving your power away to the other person. 

You’re giving them the power to control your happiness, your financial freedom, and your relationship with your children. And in those situations you actually have power. 

What you could do instead is say that while your ex may not be paying their support, you have the power to look at your finances and see whether or not you can budget a little differently.  Or, if the situation is that you need to go to court and have support enforced, then you can do that. 

You have options, you have power and you have control in that situation. 

In the situation with your former spouse not allowing you to have more time with the children and that is impacting your relationship with the children.  Yes, time with your children is an important thing but more importantly, how you spend that time with your children is important. 

If you spend the entire time that you have with your children upset because you don’t get to have more time with your children.  That is you choosing to allow the lack of time to negatively impact your interaction.  Or you could go back to court to change the amount of time that you have with your children. 

Either of those scenarios may be a possibility or they may not, but you do have a choice. 

You do have power in those situations and you can take some control over them.  Not controlling everything, because you can’t control what your ex spouse does, you can only control what you do.

So, take back that power, that control and that personal responsibility and start taking a look at what you could do to improve that situation.

Whenever you find yourself saying, ‘I would be able to if my ex would…’ you are giving them your power. 

So take that moment to say, ‘I have the ability to control what happens in my life. What happens good, bad or ugly, I have a choice in it and I have a say in it. And I have the power to change what is happening.’

As always, leave your comments down below.  What are some other ways that you can take personal responsibility in life? What are some ways that you can take your power back over your situation?


Schedule your complimentary 30 minute Chaos to Calm Power Session with me today! 



NOTE:  This blog post is a transcript or written version of Chaos To Calm Moment: Daily Divorce Affirmation #19.  It is not an admissible testimony nor is it intended to provide legal or psychological advice.


This or any advice that has been given by Heather Debreceni is not meant to replace or superseded the advice of your attorney or the acting family therapist involved in your case and does not constitute legal or psychological counseling.
About The Author

Heather Debreceni

In 2004, after getting a job in Law Enforcement, Heather left her husband and started the divorce process. Like many mothers in her situation, she naively thought that getting divorced would be the end of the chaos that her failing marriage had created in her and her children’s lives. She now uses her divorce experience to create strategic divorce coaching programs which help mothers turn the chaos of divorce into confident, calm and respect filled lives. Heather is the Founder and Host of the Empowered Divorce Summit which empowers individuals as they navigate through the divorce process. Now a podcast, it provides listeners with access to insightful interviews with experts on divorce, relationships and parenting. She is also an Ordained Non-Denomination Christian Reverend as well as a student of the Buddhist & First Nationals faith and spirituality. Heather supports her clients as they walk through the spiritual rebirth that occurs for many women after divorce. Heather also tours around the country with her family giving talks about Divorce, Ethics, Parenting, Personal Responsibility, Spirituality and Women's Empowerment as well as teaching about Leadership, Business and Entrepreneurship.

1 Comment

Leave A Response

* Denotes Required Field